if i was (2)
September 10, 2008 at 4:12 pm | Posted in poetry | 36 CommentsTags: if I was, poetry
e.e.cummings i would wrought you
a poemthingy of soft bent iron like
garden gates tilted open by age and
as you approached there would be
(scented like sweet tea ambrosia
oceans and tulips are you)
a whispering, amazing,
and, ,gone just before falling asleep
to the sound of rain on roof sound
(you tasting like desert moon
and bumblebee song)
the gates would sigh like old
philosophers knowing they knew
not the carpentry artistry, gone,
and, ,amazing and sink
to the groundsky
defeated by dew,
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The Puzzle Box
gingatao, the podcast- An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.
- The Australian Poet Laureate
- another quote from Robert Adamson January 31, 2010
- Three Quotes from Robert Adamson October 22, 2009
- The copyright question (2) October 7, 2009
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© P Squires, gingatao, 2007-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Paul Squires and gingatao, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
'And you have to deal with the terrible karma too.' Paul Squires.
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gingatao 
this is wonderful, lovely, I’ll definitely be reading this one over and over…
Thanks Juliet. I am proud of this one, it’s been a while since I got something to sing like this. I’m really glad you liked it.
Comment by Crafty Green Poet— September 10, 2008 #
Fabulous… a naive charm hides many complex tricks. Is it going in the next book? Otherwise I might have to print it off and pop it up on my wall of inspiration, haha.
Thanks Mary. I’m pretty sure this one will be in the next book, glad you noticed the complex machinery underneath too,
Comment by Mary P— September 10, 2008 #
Nice your poetry is very original, I like the words roof sound and Moon they go together well!
Thankyou, Nick.
Comment by Art and Poetry— September 10, 2008 #
thats beautiful gingatao wrought and written
a unique mold
Thankyou Tipota. Your site is just getting more and more amazing, you are an incredible artist in every mode, music painting writing, conceptual art, all amazing,
Comment by tipota— September 10, 2008 #
oh my, mr. squires…
Yes, Ms Flanigan?
Comment by sarah flanigan— September 11, 2008 #
I read this from top to bottom, then bottom to top for fun. It works both ways, with only minor hiccups on the way back up.
Cool, backwards is one of my favourite things, being eksu an all.
Comment by Jess— September 11, 2008 #
“scented like sweet tea ambrosia
oceans and tulips are you” – excellent. Not that the rest ain’t good.
Note: I am reading Oodgeroo Noonuccal, I had not knew Australia has such islands.
Thanks Annamari. Oodgeroo Noonuncaal is one of my favourites, she was a wonderful person as well as a fabulous poet. The islands in Moreton Bay are amazing. Fraser Island is the largest sand island in the world and Stradbroke which was Oodgeroo’s traditional land is a place completely out of time and utterly magical.
Comment by Annamari— September 11, 2008 #
“sink to the groundsky defeated by dew”…That is one hell of a line. Thank you.
Cool, that was a great synchronicity both of us e.e. cummings in the post today, Paul.
Comment by Paul— September 11, 2008 #
This poem makes me sad I can’t stop by to read more…you write the best poemthingys.
Thanks Tina. You write the best remembering lost friends poems and the best of many other kinds too.
Comment by Tina— September 11, 2008 #
What if I was 4?
If you were 4 Dyan, I would say well done at being able to read so well at such a young age. I miss you. When are you going to start blogging again?
Comment by dyan— September 11, 2008 #
oh my goodness this is amazingly beautiful
i love how my mind wants wrought to be write
the gate of contrasts–soft and iron
the sensual (and sensual erotic) imagery enclosed in the () which encloses the senses and encloses the person as the speaker encloses “ee cummings”
the last 3 lines are better than a cigarette to indicate consummation!
ok this is my new tshirt–i want it in sunset orange and with dew for words
Thankyou, Gwendolyn, that is a spectacular comment. I will get to work on your shirt immediately. When are we going to see the photo of you in the other one, I wonder.
Comment by artpredator— September 12, 2008 #
oh this sings, indeed, this soars and sings! how lovely! quite exquisite too, like the smalls of mr. e.e. c.!
Thanks Sumedh. I voted for you again un the photo comp, I think, the site was redirecting me like crazy. The garden is looking beautiful, as always.
Comment by Sumedh— September 12, 2008 #
i’ve read this so many times … no, that’s not right, this has sung to me so many times … and now it’s on constant repeat .. so sensual and harmonious … so natural too .. i haven’t figured out quite what you’ve alchemised here, Paul …
it’s like a magician’s stroking my back, there’s a pattern but i can’t see it, don’t need to, though i can’t help but try – challenged only by the desire to keep on experiencing “it” …
the craft of this is pure magic and i’m totally awed!!!
*swoon*
Shell, you are wonderful. Your comments make me so happy, I cannot tell you how happy they make me. Thankyou.
Comment by Shell— September 12, 2008 #
on my n read:
“i would wrought you
a poemthingy of soft bent iron like
garden gates tilted open by age and…”
now I shall show this to this friend of mine that pokes fun at me for using thingy to much “a poet that uses thingy, he said…grrhhh!” I’ll say “look,look what poetic thingies one can do with a thing like thingy”. I’m sold…
That is a lovely commentthingy, Annamari. Thankyou. It’s great to meet another writer who loves the thingythingy as much as I do. They are really useful when confabulating a whatchamacallit.
Comment by Annamari— September 12, 2008 #
You continue to wow me, Paul. “garden gates tilted open by age”??? frigging brilliant! And you don’t loose the image either, bringing it full circle with “the gates would sigh like old philosophers.” In fact you do this twice, with the “rain/dew” imagery.
poemthingy? Groundsky? move over eecummings 🙂
PS tho I loved this my favorite poem of yours is still “what is that drip drop on my pine box / why have I been awoken…”
You continue to wow me too, Harmonie. With your beautiful comments, your wonderful writing and your indomitable passion and spirit. You are simply amazingly amazing, my dolphin queen,
Comment by harmonie22— September 12, 2008 #
i read this then listened to your podcasts then read it again then again aloud and again aloud and i need to hear you read it please dear paul would you make us a podcast of this beautiful poem thingy if we ask really nice and say pretty please with cinnamon sugar and vowels and oohs and ahhs sprinkled on top?
Ohh, ahh, such sweet entreaty, Gwendolyn. I shall put this on my list of must do’s, thankyou.
Comment by artpredator— September 12, 2008 #
It seems I must add the channeling of great poets to the list of your talents, Paul. This is fantastic.
Thanks Brad. I hear dead people, woooh,
Comment by Brad— September 12, 2008 #
“Scented like sweet tea ambrosia / ocean and tulips are you” … reading that line actually made me get up and open my window so that I could smell the salty ocean air. No tulip scented waft between my house and the beach though *Sigh*
Thankyou, Fitch.
Comment by Fitch— September 12, 2008 #
mmm, this drew up so many senses. i love ee cummings. just lovely, squires
Thankyou, Mrs Ott. You must stop working so hard, it’s the weekend yayayay,
Comment by mrs. sarah ott— September 12, 2008 #
words
good
read
fun
more
more
more
(so demanding aren’t I?)
Haha, not as demanding as Bekki, Oz. Apparently I must do her interview thingy, 20 questions, photo, bio, and poem Or Else!, haha that’s my weekend taken of.
Comment by ozymandiaz— September 13, 2008 #
someone was touched by a muse. Do you know where I can find her?
Haha, they are everywhere, Randall,
Comment by randall— September 13, 2008 #
A lrycial love song-poem that trips off the
tip of my tongue.
That is a lovely line too, Cynthia.
Comment by Cynthia— September 15, 2008 #
this is beautiful. it sings, dances, and repeats over and over in my senses.
Lissa! How’s the new job going? Hard work, I bet. It’s amazing, I have three nurses on my bloggedy blog roll, you, Aefiel and Mrs Ott. Maybe it has something to do with wonderfulness, intelligence, compassion, empathy, perhaps these things make good writers and good nurses?
Comment by lissa— September 15, 2008 #
uncle so many readers : and a breath and a tiny opal
it’s been a season
x
((((((((((((((((((((((Ebby)))))))))))))))))))))))x
Comment by beeskiffle— September 16, 2008 #
[…] if i was (2) by Paul Squires if i was (2) by Paul Squires […]
Pingback by if i was (2) by Paul Squires « art predator— September 16, 2008 #
paul, i hope you like the surprise on my blog… if you don’t i will make it disappear lickety split
It is wonderful, Gwendolyn. I love surprises and that is a beautiful surprise gift. Thankyou so much, you are wonderful,
Comment by artpredator— September 16, 2008 #
absolutely eecummings… sigh… lovely.. sez the romantic in me.. it is good to see you writing love poetry…
Thankyou, I’m glad you liked it.
Comment by pieceofpie— September 18, 2008 #
My mind so wants to catergorize and is unable to. So I sit on the swing, thinking
Poem, simili, love, sensual, prose, poem, metaphor, love, sensual…….still swinging.
That is a truly beautiful comment, thankyou.
Comment by mysoul— September 19, 2008 #
you should submit to the US journal The Sun; i think they will love your work and pay you to publish it
Comment by artpredator— September 20, 2008 #
[…] then a State of Optimism. I selected, prepared and practiced 12 poems, plus two by Paul Squires (“If I was” and “Prayer: Soldier Knelt by a Rushing […]
Pingback by Reading at VC Today « art predator— October 17, 2008 #
My favorite passage: sink to the groundsky defeated by dew. Beautiful poem.
Comment by The Querulous Squirrel— April 20, 2009 #
Another posting for my wall of inspiration – Paul, what a love poem, colored throughout with the markings of Mr. Squires! I’ve said this before about others you’ve written, but Paul, this might be my personal favorite.
Comment by poeticgrin— April 21, 2009 #
I came to read something else and landed here… glad I did as this is a great poem, one you can read again. Have a great weekend.
Comment by Michelle Johnson— August 15, 2009 #
How absolutely scrumptious. Invocations of delight – all the things I love (tulips, ocean, sound of rain, bumblebees, sweet tea, desert moons). Another one for the cork board. Cheers Gabrielle.
Comment by Gabrielle Bryden— August 15, 2009 #
Big sigh. This is still so lovely.
Comment by art predator— August 26, 2009 #
[…] way ahead of myself. (it is raining gently literally whispering we create ourselves). I must choose the first piece for the performance, then I was thinking of group sourcing the rest, that is to say, taking […]
Pingback by The Year Of Doing (even more) Things. « gingatao— December 28, 2009 #