if i was (2)

September 10, 2008 at 4:12 pm | Posted in poetry | 36 Comments
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e.e.cummings i would wrought you
a poemthingy of soft bent iron like
garden gates tilted open by age and
as you approached there would be
(scented like sweet tea ambrosia
oceans and tulips are you)
a whispering, amazing,
and, ,gone just before falling asleep
to the sound of rain on roof sound
(you tasting like desert moon
and bumblebee song)
the gates would sigh like old
philosophers knowing they knew
not the carpentry artistry, gone,
and, ,amazing and sink
to the groundsky
defeated by dew,



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  1. this is wonderful, lovely, I’ll definitely be reading this one over and over…
    Thanks Juliet. I am proud of this one, it’s been a while since I got something to sing like this. I’m really glad you liked it.

  2. Fabulous… a naive charm hides many complex tricks. Is it going in the next book? Otherwise I might have to print it off and pop it up on my wall of inspiration, haha.
    Thanks Mary. I’m pretty sure this one will be in the next book, glad you noticed the complex machinery underneath too,

  3. Nice your poetry is very original, I like the words roof sound and Moon they go together well!
    Thankyou, Nick.

  4. thats beautiful gingatao wrought and written
    a unique mold
    Thankyou Tipota. Your site is just getting more and more amazing, you are an incredible artist in every mode, music painting writing, conceptual art, all amazing,

  5. oh my, mr. squires…
    Yes, Ms Flanigan?

  6. I read this from top to bottom, then bottom to top for fun. It works both ways, with only minor hiccups on the way back up.
    Cool, backwards is one of my favourite things, being eksu an all.

  7. “scented like sweet tea ambrosia
    oceans and tulips are you” – excellent. Not that the rest ain’t good.

    Note: I am reading Oodgeroo Noonuccal, I had not knew Australia has such islands.
    Thanks Annamari. Oodgeroo Noonuncaal is one of my favourites, she was a wonderful person as well as a fabulous poet. The islands in Moreton Bay are amazing. Fraser Island is the largest sand island in the world and Stradbroke which was Oodgeroo’s traditional land is a place completely out of time and utterly magical.

  8. “sink to the groundsky defeated by dew”…That is one hell of a line. Thank you.
    Cool, that was a great synchronicity both of us e.e. cummings in the post today, Paul.

  9. This poem makes me sad I can’t stop by to read more…you write the best poemthingys.
    Thanks Tina. You write the best remembering lost friends poems and the best of many other kinds too.

  10. What if I was 4?
    If you were 4 Dyan, I would say well done at being able to read so well at such a young age. I miss you. When are you going to start blogging again?

  11. oh my goodness this is amazingly beautiful

    i love how my mind wants wrought to be write

    the gate of contrasts–soft and iron

    the sensual (and sensual erotic) imagery enclosed in the () which encloses the senses and encloses the person as the speaker encloses “ee cummings”

    the last 3 lines are better than a cigarette to indicate consummation!

    ok this is my new tshirt–i want it in sunset orange and with dew for words
    Thankyou, Gwendolyn, that is a spectacular comment. I will get to work on your shirt immediately. When are we going to see the photo of you in the other one, I wonder.

  12. oh this sings, indeed, this soars and sings! how lovely! quite exquisite too, like the smalls of mr. e.e. c.!
    Thanks Sumedh. I voted for you again un the photo comp, I think, the site was redirecting me like crazy. The garden is looking beautiful, as always.

  13. i’ve read this so many times … no, that’s not right, this has sung to me so many times … and now it’s on constant repeat .. so sensual and harmonious … so natural too .. i haven’t figured out quite what you’ve alchemised here, Paul …

    it’s like a magician’s stroking my back, there’s a pattern but i can’t see it, don’t need to, though i can’t help but try – challenged only by the desire to keep on experiencing “it” …

    the craft of this is pure magic and i’m totally awed!!!

    Shell, you are wonderful. Your comments make me so happy, I cannot tell you how happy they make me. Thankyou.

  14. on my n read:
    “i would wrought you
    a poemthingy of soft bent iron like
    garden gates tilted open by age and…”

    now I shall show this to this friend of mine that pokes fun at me for using thingy to much “a poet that uses thingy, he said…grrhhh!” I’ll say “look,look what poetic thingies one can do with a thing like thingy”. I’m sold…
    That is a lovely commentthingy, Annamari. Thankyou. It’s great to meet another writer who loves the thingythingy as much as I do. They are really useful when confabulating a whatchamacallit.

  15. You continue to wow me, Paul. “garden gates tilted open by age”??? frigging brilliant! And you don’t loose the image either, bringing it full circle with “the gates would sigh like old philosophers.” In fact you do this twice, with the “rain/dew” imagery.
    poemthingy? Groundsky? move over eecummings 🙂
    PS tho I loved this my favorite poem of yours is still “what is that drip drop on my pine box / why have I been awoken…”
    You continue to wow me too, Harmonie. With your beautiful comments, your wonderful writing and your indomitable passion and spirit. You are simply amazingly amazing, my dolphin queen,

  16. i read this then listened to your podcasts then read it again then again aloud and again aloud and i need to hear you read it please dear paul would you make us a podcast of this beautiful poem thingy if we ask really nice and say pretty please with cinnamon sugar and vowels and oohs and ahhs sprinkled on top?
    Ohh, ahh, such sweet entreaty, Gwendolyn. I shall put this on my list of must do’s, thankyou.

  17. It seems I must add the channeling of great poets to the list of your talents, Paul. This is fantastic.
    Thanks Brad. I hear dead people, woooh,

  18. “Scented like sweet tea ambrosia / ocean and tulips are you” … reading that line actually made me get up and open my window so that I could smell the salty ocean air. No tulip scented waft between my house and the beach though *Sigh*
    Thankyou, Fitch.

  19. mmm, this drew up so many senses. i love ee cummings. just lovely, squires
    Thankyou, Mrs Ott. You must stop working so hard, it’s the weekend yayayay,

  20. words
    (so demanding aren’t I?)
    Haha, not as demanding as Bekki, Oz. Apparently I must do her interview thingy, 20 questions, photo, bio, and poem Or Else!, haha that’s my weekend taken of.

  21. someone was touched by a muse. Do you know where I can find her?
    Haha, they are everywhere, Randall,

  22. A lrycial love song-poem that trips off the
    tip of my tongue.
    That is a lovely line too, Cynthia.

  23. this is beautiful. it sings, dances, and repeats over and over in my senses.
    Lissa! How’s the new job going? Hard work, I bet. It’s amazing, I have three nurses on my bloggedy blog roll, you, Aefiel and Mrs Ott. Maybe it has something to do with wonderfulness, intelligence, compassion, empathy, perhaps these things make good writers and good nurses?

  24. uncle so many readers : and a breath and a tiny opal
    it’s been a season

  25. […] if i was (2) by Paul Squires if i was (2) by Paul Squires […]

  26. paul, i hope you like the surprise on my blog… if you don’t i will make it disappear lickety split
    It is wonderful, Gwendolyn. I love surprises and that is a beautiful surprise gift. Thankyou so much, you are wonderful,

  27. absolutely eecummings… sigh… lovely.. sez the romantic in me.. it is good to see you writing love poetry…
    Thankyou, I’m glad you liked it.

  28. My mind so wants to catergorize and is unable to. So I sit on the swing, thinking
    Poem, simili, love, sensual, prose, poem, metaphor, love, sensual…….still swinging.
    That is a truly beautiful comment, thankyou.

  29. you should submit to the US journal The Sun; i think they will love your work and pay you to publish it

  30. […] then a State of Optimism. I selected, prepared and practiced 12 poems, plus two by Paul Squires (“If I was” and “Prayer: Soldier Knelt by a Rushing […]

  31. My favorite passage: sink to the groundsky defeated by dew. Beautiful poem.

  32. Another posting for my wall of inspiration – Paul, what a love poem, colored throughout with the markings of Mr. Squires! I’ve said this before about others you’ve written, but Paul, this might be my personal favorite.

  33. I came to read something else and landed here… glad I did as this is a great poem, one you can read again. Have a great weekend.

  34. How absolutely scrumptious. Invocations of delight – all the things I love (tulips, ocean, sound of rain, bumblebees, sweet tea, desert moons). Another one for the cork board. Cheers Gabrielle.

  35. Big sigh. This is still so lovely.

  36. […] way ahead of myself. (it is raining gently literally whispering we create ourselves). I must choose the first piece for the performance, then I was thinking of group sourcing the rest, that is to say, taking […]

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