correct attribution

November 9, 2009 at 6:47 pm | Posted in australian poetry, poetry, writing | 13 Comments
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watching things that spin
of its own volition fans
the wheels on overturned bikes (flying over)
toy trucks
light switches on and off (linear causality
and control). find the house lit up like a Christmas tree.

a GP quickly ‘who dis’
appeared into another room
while the eye was distracted.

moving water at sunset twirling
down Kingscliff, where sister Lisa lived.
dealing with the underlying anxiety,
bewaring the pop-up effect!

look up, lights
linear causality control
flight, stars
caught on some wind
watching things that spin
of their own volition

(I want to call this first part, Poem For Michael. But I have to check with Michael’s mum.)


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  1. Thank you very much. Michael doesn’t understand it completely but he said it is still really good. Very clever Squires. Have you made Michael a magician – appearing into other rooms – he is a bit of a magician. I love the way you have associated the pop-up effect with the looking up into the lights. You can call it Poem for Michael, but ‘Correct attribution’ is very appropriate. Thanks again. Now I’ll have to write you a poem – I’ve started one about the non-linearity of time which I think you will like.
    The truth is Gabrielle, all I did was copy and paste your prose into the write page window and then edited out all the grown up bits. So there is really none of my words in it, but having made the decisions about which words to keep and which to leave out, I am still in it. There is no way of removing the poets ego from the poem. Even if I just point at a rock and say it’s a poem, that decision to call it a poem is mine. So that is a bottom line of control, I think.

  2. And interpretation is in the eye of the beholder. You are the editor and still the poet. And that is as it should be – I was going to say that to you recently – you and you alone must be the editor (except maybe for errors bought on by laziness/not proof reading).
    Well then I shall stop calling them editors and call them proof readers. Oh and I noticed one those words doing two jobs again, Gabrielle. ‘fans’ can be a verb or plural noun in that sentence, which links up to the idea of the air moving, which also doesn’t move of its own volition. There is the spiritual idea in this poem. And it is about the sources and beginnings, hence correct attribution as a spiritual concept.

  3. Wonderful collaboration of all three of you.
    Thanks, Ms Squirrel. Planets, holes, you know the old saying.

  4. very fascinating poem and the connection to gabrielles piece, is great. and the sense that there is something more between the lines, some undercurrent in the switches and waters, the who dis, is intrigue, delightful
    Ahh, that is my favourite bit I think. ‘who dis’.. appears into haha, it is a little bogglement with meaning.

  5. Just wonderful… a poem which speaks of a great performance and a great performer…

    This reminds me that wherever and however we travel is not as important as the travelling taking place.
    It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Thanks, Tracey.

  6. I love “stars / caught on some wind…”

    It’s Vesper de Vil…w/ my other account.
    Hello, Vesper. I wondered where you went to, who you had become.

  7. “volition fans, overturned bikes, ‘who dis’,the eye was distracted, the underlying anxiety, look up, lights on and off,stars
    caught on some wind.” As a collage, you cut and paste some of Gabrielle’s words and there is a wonderful poem. Looking at your collage here what caught my ear and my eye.
    It is very collage-like, Benedicte. It’s always great to have visual artists and musicians reading the poetry. There isn’t much point in just writing for other poets, I think, so I really appreciate you dropping by and commenting.

  8. You do use some of your own words – I spy a ‘twirling’ and a ‘bewaring’ which appear to be paulologisms. Benedicte does some of the most luscious collages – you must have a look if you haven’t already.
    They are fantastic collages. How did those paulologisms get in there? Must be typos, whoops.

  9. Cool, that was fun. Coming soon – Acknowledge your sources as both a spiritual concept and the key to survival, in terms of respecting your ancestors and the planet, and preserving the historical train of thought so humans don’t have to figure it all out again. Acknowledge your sources.

  10. Thinking prosaically, I’m wishing I had some control over linear causality. Gabrielle said you have peculiar insight into the subject. Time is a strange medium in which to live; it’s the best we’ve got I suppose. Wonderful poem on the keen inner life of a little boy.
    I have peculiar sight, Aletha. Thankyou, I’m glad you enjoyed the poem.

  11. Just to clarify – I said that you had an insight into non-linear time (the comment is on Aletha’s blog).
    Thanks, Gabrielle, I was enjoying having peculiar sight.

  12. I agree with you, you write and I draw for everyone. I was interested to read about the process in this poem. different mediums, similar techniques, same goal, transcription of an idea.

  13. I love the sense of movement in this poem. You do an amazing job of conveying motion with language.

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