Review – Squires in Performance

August 29, 2009 at 9:00 am | Posted in australian poetry, memoirs, poetry, sheer selfindulgence, writing | 18 Comments
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The idiot said in his twitter the only way he would perform his poetry for an audience was naked. Pinched the idea from giggling Ginsberg,  but then realised that if he breaks one promise the entire universe of cards half carefully arranged in Buckmonster Filler’s master plan in triangles like a diamond midfield, Scolari.

So I turned up thinking well, he makes a big noise on the net, we already know he’s ugly and that there will be at least one pirate and one tattoo poem, just for cliches sake, he can’t help it. And he will be doing that pathetic little Monk dance all night, when Monk’s not at the piano, and might jump up and down on the x marks the spot aerobically saying Oh Art Tatum. The bouncer in the foyer is a big bastard but I didn’t see any cops on the way in. It’s only poetry after all and they don’t shoot poets, do they old Orca Lorca.

I tell you what though if he does penis puppetry while doing the Ganeesha poem, I’m leaving.



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  1. This is so funny! I think stand up comedy is also an option for you of many talents. Just show us the photo and get on with it – ha! We love the pirate and tattoo poems – if we didn’t we would surf elsewhere. I’d be leaving as well if there was any penis puppetry.

  2. Penis puppetry… priceless wording. Have a great weekend.

  3. Thankyou both. I have podcasted this one here.

  4. You need a slot at the Edinburgh Fringe….

  5. this is the first time i listened to a squires podcast (normally i do my blogrolling at work and the streaming audio is cut off) and it blew me away! like listening to those old recordings of dylan thomas but funnier and less grave. pure genius. i’d start doing some myself but then the argument could adequately be made that i’ve stolen ALL my shit from squires except just most of it. keep on forever now –

  6. move over Louis CK, here’s gingatao. outrageous. totally nutty ha ha

  7. Just wanted to say that this has kept me laughing – my kids think I’m nuts as I keep breaking out into guffaws!

  8. Yeah it’s humorous, but there are all kinds of things happening in this poem. There’s a deep engagement with art here, not just poetry. The jazz credo of just playing free and loose and powerful. Love bits like Monk dancing on his spot when he’s not playing (but might some readers think this is Shaloub Monk instead of Thelonius? Maybe that’s fine. I’m a fan of show and pianist) And of course your final line’s are always so unbelievably strong. I think what everyone loves about your poems is not what you’re saying (which is great) so much as this lovely sense of self you have. I enjoy knowing you Paul.

  9. Rotfl loved it :D!!

  10. Leave your penis alone, Squires.
    Did you hear a poet (Tim Key) won the comedy award at the Edingburgh Festival? Ohhh, it’s a revolution.

  11. Bwahahahaha! This one had me laughing so loud that my kitties looked at me funny. 😀

  12. Will there be a photo montage?

  13. Ha!

  14. chuckling…

  15. Glad to have made you all laugh. Hmmm, I better check with Graham Nunn.

  16. Penis puppetry. I got my children these little finger puppets, but I don’t think they’d…

  17. I was sort of looking forward to it.

  18. I’m so loving this. And the audio (seems the video didn’t “translate”) was icing on the cupcake.

    It’s so rare that anything read gets me to laugh out loud. And laughing out loud when one is not warmed up for it is such a surprise to the face!

    You da bomb.

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