November 22, 2008 at 7:55 pm | Posted in prosepoemthingy, writing | 16 Comments

(“I would draw your attention to the fact that at one time this was not considered an insult. That your writing is sentimental. If we deconstruct the word, senti as in knowing and mental, well I guess I must be, since I consider my mentality a choice, that is, something over which I have some control. That is why I chose to write this bit here in prose”.)

Sir! the door flew open. Oh no, not again,
Someone has released the vodpod
and just as he was about to trace
the line of some angel’s wings
and shift his hips
whilst listening,

He rolls away and sits at the side of the bed. I should have a hangover. It is almost a thought but it passes immediately into
a taste of ginger which is retained
over the passage of time
as it departs, a sudden thought
that all of this
is mine,

The sun is rising over the bay and a fresh morning breeze parts the curtains carrying the laughter of friends drifting up from the pool. There is a painting hanging over the bed and every time he sees it he thinks, “Need is inverse proportion to power,” so if we have no needs, my love, when all expectations have been met, he turns back into the bed and is absorbed again into his dream. One day I’m going to wax you, she says, smiling with her fingertips.


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  1. Wax me poetic..that was just lovely.

  2. This is the first thing I’ve read after waking this morning. Before coffee, even. [Elizavetta says, stretching lusciously]

    Sentimentality in the morning… mmm… how lovely.

  3. “smiling with her fingertips” is an amazing phrase. And BTW- the absence of sentimentality is a kind of insanity (INMHO)

  4. “Sir! the door flew open”

    so glad it did

  5. i always feel as though i’m listening in on a conversation. its always a sense of “lets listen in!” sort of sneaky. : )

  6. This is a beautiful piece… Truly

  7. I love it, as well.

    Sometimes I get hit by a bolt of lightning and I know exactly what your poem means to me (i think).

    Not so this time, I bravely or foolishly admit.

    Certainly, I would prefer to roll back to a dream of sugary sweet deathwith laughing fingertips as well…

    Perhaps I have found it.

  8. Your writing has a tendency to remind my of silk. I am uncertain of the color because it is always changing.

  9. Vivid with all senses, highly memorable. I like the variation in tempo, the move from staggared lines to smooth prose.

  10. I love a bit of sentimentality. It shows an appreciation for what has past and for meaningful things in the present. Very nice!

  11. Ah … I would love to trace the lines of an angel’s wings! That phrase will be with me all day …

  12. Hello, thanks for looking in and leaving your encouraging comment, nice to know you left with a smile.

    I see words here at yours, to think by and linger over*!*

  13. I wish I woke up from my hangovers like this….

    Smiling with her fingertips… Mmm, that conveyed sensuality…

  14. Sentimentality shouldn’t be a dirty word, no. When it is expressed correctly it is a very beautiful thing. Lovely words and the vodpod as candlelight flickering behind.

  15. now that makes sense…

  16. I love this bit – ‘he turns back into the bed and is absorbed again into his dream.’ That’s how the whole piece feels. Here’s to sentimentality!

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