Mister Ponderous’ “Underpants Song”

November 18, 2008 at 6:32 pm | Posted in antihaiku, writing | 18 Comments
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Mister Ponderous occassionally scratches his chin hmm
there was thing. He is prone to pontificating
on the most arcane of subjects, especially
ones wherein he felt he was something of a gourmand.
When he moves in his vast leather chair
it is like an exclamation of air,
“Not so much harrumph as phzzzt, preposterous,
energy must have some source.”
They want to take the ego out and replace it
with some vague theory of nothingness
in pursuit of zen
moments of laughter,
you could try that.
Some ironical twist
and a change of voice.


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  1. Moister Ponderouses with skid marks. Fabulous.
    Fabulousnesses, thankyou, ma’am. I’m glad you enjoyed my Rabellaisian Voltaire moment. I was just writing a blog policy. The blog is for experimenting with wordage and having fun. Hmm, that’s about it. Have you posted something? I will go look,

  2. so much fun gingatao
    Thanks, Tipota. Fun is the name of the game. The more I read this one the more I like it. Mr Ponderous may become a regular pricker of overstuffed ridiculousnesses.

  3. My brother used to sing your underpants song in his sleep prompting another brother to proclaim his voice sure has changed but his breath smells the same! Crude I know but these are the memories of my youth.
    Haha, the young can be so cruel. Crudity is just honesty, we are human beings after all. There are some who would say that using a fart as an image to represent taking the ego out of poetry is a little harsh, or using it as an image for anything is crude, but they are the pretentious middle class hypocrites that Mr Ponderous despises, so more crudity, I say.

  4. Ha! This one gave me a good laugh. Thanks.
    You are most welcome, Cocoyea.

  5. happy happy happy day–may your day be filled with red balloons and far and whistles and there’s a just spring happy day to you day card on my blog…

    btw, what is the underpants song??
    Thanks Gwendolyn. Watch out for that balloon man, he has goat’s feet. (You just read the Underpant’s Song, I thought, or something)

  6. “When he moves in his vast leather chair
    it is like an exclamation of air,”

    -pure poetry.
    Thanks, Randall. Must be nearly your go in The Orchid Room again soon?

  7. Sums up how Kant sometimes makes me feel…

    Sometimes I read him and think ‘By this token, nothing is knowable, nothing can be proved to be real’.

    I guess existence in itself is kind of an unknowable mystery.
    It is Crushed, existence is an inexplicable miracle. That anything at all should exist is beyond the odds, that life should exist, ridiculously amazing,

  8. ok i get it…sometimes i’m a bit slow or moving too fast or too distracted

    btw, as i was doing dishes tonight, i was thinking about this poem and i realized how well i could really picture him and hear his voice in this–this piece has a really physical presence (not just an olfactory one!)

  9. or even silence, there’s too much noise 😦

    Nice and sharp and cutting :)!!!!!

  10. Favorite poem this month!!!

  11. hey, you just made my day… it makes all the sense required to put one letter in front of the other.. or behind, or… as always a pleasure to pass thru the wires..im still laughing abt the underpants song…

  12. That’s great, Paul, good write. Enjoyed the following comments too .

  13. Ah, now I love this one too. This was just perfect from the word go, right up to the change of voice,

    and at the risk of taking the place of this character of ridicule, but I will have to agree with the “they”! 🙂
    It is a vague theory all right, but when you experience it, you taste a fruit which can never be theorized un-vaguely, which can never be described or explained to anyone; everyone will have to taste the fruit for themselves if they wish because it is something unlike anything else, because it is “no-thing” indeed!

    And, as a Zen saying goes, even the best of things is not as good as nothing! haha,

    (however I must also add that this nothingness rubbishness is not limited to just zen, but is the basic fact which is alluded towards by all mad men like me )

    There. I have even fit your description of Mister Ponderous through this verbose comment! 🙂

  14. I think of him and the leather chair together as some fused laughing Buddha.

  15. Funny stuff. It’s great to see you having some fun playing around in the crayons, coloring outside of the lines. at least there’s no runny watercolors mixed from tears here. I’m looking for a woman with legs like the Eiffel tower and breasts like liberty bells; French accented perfume and some good old yankee know how. If you see her, be a pal and send her my way. ;o)

  16. a fun, ubu-like figure for a sweet sweet spring day. mister ponderosa figures it for a bonanza.

  17. Woohoo, thanks Mr Ponderous, and all the wonderful commentators. I shall shuffle you back into the deck now and see what happens next. I am enjoying playing with the sticky post feature, I hope nobody minds.

  18. […] 11, 2009 Mister Ponderous shifts in his seat and raises his […]

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