entry point.
October 20, 2008 at 6:36 pm | Posted in writing | 11 CommentsTags: three card, writing
Unlike Voltaire and his practised mannerisms and De Sade who had the protection of real historical Lordly rights, unlike Genet learned in the sewerisms of Marseille, unlike these great men I have only myself to offer,
he says, tugging at my sleeve. I am sweating from the heat of the day having stepped off the plane only moments before. His name is Ari, of course and he became my constant companion though I never could tell quite how. He spoke some strange pattering language but had learned to quote great books from memory. Often I felt he had no idea of their meaning but found music in the tones through which he could express an understanding so we found Saudade in less than three hours.
She was standing at the window of the penthouse apartment in the Tokyo Montana Hotel, naked and the only sound is the whirr of the cameras and she moves with a slow momentum. “Cut. Lovely, dear,” says Sir Ian, “There’s no hurry.” And turns to me. “Welcome my friend. Are you ready?”
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Note to me. Insert link to ‘beings’.
“my love is vengeance, that’s never free,” Behind Blue Eyes, The Who.
Comment by Paul— October 20, 2008 #
Ari comes of age then but with that he has perhaps become more vulnerable? The ‘sewerisms’ is a great word. And music in the tones allowing him an understanding, is perfect.
Thankyou, Mary. That sentence kind of drags out over two thoughts and takes two breaths I think but I don’t want to break it up. But if I replace the ‘and’ with ‘so’ it makes the connection more smooth both sound wise and it gives it a kind of lineal causality illusion in the reader’s mind so the connection will seem more natural and won’t be so noticeable, let’s try that. Yayay, that works, thankyou ((Mary))
Comment by Mary— October 20, 2008 #
Wow! this piece with hands on my shoulders shaked me fiercely, I am gonna read it again after a few hours…
Very impressive!
Whoops, sorry about the shaking Sherifa.
Comment by hayat— October 20, 2008 #
very primal and erotic force sachets through afternoon four oclockish light in a taxi a hotel a room his mind
Perfect, thanks Tipota.
Comment by tipota— October 21, 2008 #
Mischievous modern images, busy. Your sequence’s lively. Then the punchline, that deliciously leave me hungry for more…
Thank you dear.
You’re welcome, Maelinat.
Comment by maelinat— October 21, 2008 #
he sounds like the wisest of men
within cadence lies truth
or i’m drunk
i forget which
Comment by ozymandiaz— October 21, 2008 #
“If I swallowed anything evil
put your fingers down my throat,”
Brother Pete,
The Who.
Comment by Paul— October 21, 2008 #
dude, that used to be my theme song
well, I tried to make it my theme song at least
being never so grandiose
Comment by ozymandiaz— October 21, 2008 #
name dropper… encased within a moment as if everything is timeless and the tune is tasteful.. it is always a pleasure to visit and read the characters of history reflected in a room somewhere off the edge ..
‘name dropper’ haha. I’m very glad you enjoyed it, Ms Pie.
Comment by pieceofpie— October 22, 2008 #
you leave me standing waiting balanced to move and wondering ready for what?
you establish the scene so cleanly, so quickly, dramatically, you engage me immediately and leave me wanting more
i love the nonsensical sense of this sentence:
Often I felt he had no idea of their meaning but found music in the tones through which he could express an understanding so we found Saudade in less than three hours.
Thanks, Gwendolyn. I like that sentence too.
Comment by artpredator— October 22, 2008 #
Damn, you ARE the daring dawg of diction! I keep coming back for the irresistible beauty, even when I can’t understand WTF you’re talkin about. See! You’ve reduced me to 4-letter words!
Thanks, Wayne, sometimes the tone is just as important as the meaning. And I’m so proud to have elicited a rudism.
Comment by Wayne— October 23, 2008 #