a taste of cowrie shell
March 17, 2008 at 6:57 pm | Posted in poetry, writing | 15 CommentsTags: Exu, poetry, seeding with minimalism, writing
he only heard a breath
exu, she said,
tracing the line of his shoulders,
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i will suffer the excruciating pain of leaving a comment for this (the things I have to do)……beautiful, seductive….ditto Jo.
Comment by enigma— March 17, 2008 #
in three lines, I can see it perfectly
Comment by Scot— March 17, 2008 #
Simple & suggestive. Well done.
Comment by Tina Trivett— March 18, 2008 #
The least mention of cowrie makes me want to puka. heh heh heh
Comment by Bob— March 18, 2008 #
notice ~ concise art=concise comments
(((shh)))
Comment by beeskiffle— March 18, 2008 #
Scot, four lines.
Comment by beeskiffle— March 18, 2008 #
Thanks everybody, tiny things like these are so easy to slide past,
Comment by Paul— March 18, 2008 #
see, told ya.
Goner.
Comment by amuirin— March 18, 2008 #
It’s very pleasant you found such a short but powerful word, you’ve used exu in another poem I’ve read… echoing another poster, though, concise poetry = concise ambitions, I hope.
Waiting for something with less japan and more meat. Good flash, though.
Comment by Voodoo— March 18, 2008 #
yes, in so few words, yes.
I am making a place where you can send a root to taste different soil. I am tending this earth as we speak. Wait for me?
miss you.
Comment by H Helix— March 18, 2008 #
I love how you end it on a comma.
Comment by julia— March 18, 2008 #
i like the comma at the end too signifying more to come!
Comment by artpredator— March 18, 2008 #
sometimes, in fact many times, the least number of words are most mind-blowing.
Comment by Sumedh— March 18, 2008 #
thanks everybody, Amuirin, you might have been the only one to put the two together, Hydra Helix, helloooooo, where have you been and where are you know? hurry hurry, i can’t wait,
Comment by Paul— March 18, 2008 #
So what did she find………….?
Comment by gautami tripathy— March 19, 2008 #