contractual obligation

February 19, 2008 at 6:30 pm | Posted in writing | 17 Comments
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Those of you who know me well will believe that I have been insulted in many languages and accents by people from all walks of life over the years I have traipsed this poor old planet but only two overt castigations have ever stayed with me.

The first was when I was about fifteen and my long suffering Chemistry teacher through whose classes I had doodled and stared out windows had to give me an award for a perfect exam in front of the whole Senior School and staff and as he handed me the certificate he said loud enough for all to hear, “The most over-rated student in the school.” I have never been so proud.

The second was when I was about nineteen and some Classics scholar, President of the Latin and Ancient History Society objected to me leaving the meeting drunk and laughing and with the woman he wanted. “You are a suicidal, degenerate, little worm.” Why, thankyou, and goodnight,

I have blogged. I have arranged some mss. I have written a piece set in The Orchid Room with the pianoplayer half listening to the old man’s discursive remarks on J. B. Priestley, any requests?


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  1. This has me grinning

  2. That is so cool!!!!! You should be immensly proud, fantastic insults like that are a mark of high distinction.
    Oh it wouldve been fun to see the Presidents face, as you sauntered of with his woman.HAHA.

    The over rated student comment would be a great thing to put on your gravestone.

    An ex said to me once, “I’m just road kill in your headlights, arent I? “, I’m not sure if it was a compliment or an insult.

  3. Some of my worst compliments–I am most proud of–at least now.

  4. An impressive array, no doubt, but I suspect your challenge lies ahead. If you like, I could send you some particularly bilious choler to masticate, if it would help…

    Trolls are everywhere, be careful where you step.

  5. Well, those are amusing things to be called. Something to tell the kids about or young people who bother you in your dotage (far off of course). Certainly beats my school reports:

    “Tries hard but isn’t very good.”

  6. ah well; offensive as it may be to some, but chemistry and chemistry teachers all such alike; there has not been one singularity of a subject which I have hated more (ironic, though, because I love physics like my hand’s palm!). This was a fantastic read!

  7. there is no such hardness in the night
    as that lurking in dark recesses of our souls
    for each our greatest critic
    will always be the self
    as we all know what gets our knickers in a flare

  8. I’ve had some of my most memorable insults from Chemistry teachers too. …

  9. in my senior year, i won the “Underachiever of the Year” Award, and in typical underachiever fashion, could not motivate myself sufficiently enough to attend the awards ceremony…

    oh well…

  10. glad to see you are still around.

  11. hehe…classic.

  12. Thankyou, hmm, no requests heh, i was looking forward to the challenge so i shall leave it as an open invitation, in the meantime i shall do whatever i please, as usual,

  13. I request ‘stairway to heaven”, in whatever form you like.

  14. Cool, I will think about it, stairway,
    in the meantime, here is my favourite version, Rodrigo y Gabriella, if you get a chance to see them live, take it,

  15. Ahahaha! This is rich, especially what the chemistry teacher said, considering the situation then. He must have been really bitter to have said something like that, to save his face to his colleagues. 😉

  16. Those academics really can get passionate about their insults….as for the scholar, all I can think of is ‘you snooze, you lose’. It can smart to be beaten.

  17. eye to eye, sparks will fly… that is my request on Sunonheads behalf.

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