“I try to leave out the parts people skip.” Elmore Leonard
Now don’t read it again and write it in your own words. Haha, waffle on, I say. The sky, the sky’s in love with you, she left me, left me flat and without implicit rhythm, where are you Maryjane,
If you have a child who is easily bored, don’t give him too much sugar. The oldstyle socialist brushing his whiskers, “I often quote myself. It adds spice to the conversation.” The truth is my mind keeps wandering back to soft curves and forgiving terrain,
,and now what’s to do with this
having shaved this morning in hope of a kiss,
11 responses so far ↓
Paul // May 5, 2008 at 2:40 pm
note to me, sugar and spice, or stealing/borrowing a kiss? can you tie them together?
harmonie22 // May 5, 2008 at 5:30 pm
I think only mj can answer that one lol
johemmant // May 5, 2008 at 6:47 pm
That is so clever, what he said, your retort, badinage. And the framing/layout of the close, looks just like a pair of lips.
Socialism versus women as softness, forgiveness again and yet the woman was the one who acted, supplied the rhythm…….muse or acknowledgement of something else?
Sumedh // May 5, 2008 at 9:04 pm
an intriguing study in the colour of the mental psyche; nice appropriation in keeping Bernard Shaw in the tags!
johemmant // May 5, 2008 at 10:02 pm
you know I’m sure this happened to Polkadotwitch, her comments kept disappearing.
lissa // May 6, 2008 at 2:52 am
“my mind keeps wandering back to soft curves and forgiving terrain” - lovely.
mariacristina // May 6, 2008 at 8:17 am
I’m new to your writing, still trying to let it sink in. I think with this poem that’s all i could do -let it sink in. I understand it as a conversation with different characters representing different aspects of the self. A distracted narrator comes back to the part he misses, which is the touch of a woman. I like having to assemble the different pieces.
Paul // May 6, 2008 at 7:30 pm
to me this is a tone poem, it’s primary concern is its tone, hopefully light and playful with just a touch of irony to add depth and dangle, if you get me, it has almost no narrative or descriptive function, but it appeas sufficiently interasting as a thought and in its presentation that people will read it and hopefully come out of it just a little bit better than they went into it, but i believe it also has structural qualities, in the sens that one could take this pretty vase and fill it with anything, but then i am madder than a march hare, its my comment box bolt hole anyway,
ozymandiaz // May 6, 2008 at 9:32 pm
man, you people think allot.
I thought once
once
johnnypeepers // May 9, 2008 at 1:03 pm
“If you must write prose and poems
The words you use should be your own
Don’t plagiarise or take “on loans”
There’s always someone, somewhere
With a big nose, who knows
And who trips you up and laughs
When you fall
Who’ll trip you up and laugh
When you fall”
~ The Smiths “Cemetry Gates”
Paul // May 9, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Well i am afraid i must disagree
with sourfaced mr morrissey
and i know for sure that you do
cos you used his words to
make your point, too,
(etc)
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